It’s funny the luxuries I used to have pre mom days that I didn’t even know I had. What luxuries am I talking about? Oh the ones like taking a shower without your baby crying while in a bouncing seat a couple feet away. How about the luxury of drinking a cup of coffee in silence as you wake up. Ahhh . . . those were the good old days.
Well I think this week I have discovered a way to get all those wonderful luxuries back. The trick is to wake up early! For the past three days I have woken up 45-60 minutes before Vincent and Chloe. I use that time to enjoy a quiet shower, get ready for the day, make Vincent’s lunch for school and get Chloe’s food prepared. The best part about this new routine is that when Vincent and Chloe wake up in the morning, I am ready to focus on them and help them get their day started. With my old way of doing things, I was being woken up by them and then all of a sudden needed to get things going while I was still waking myself up. These past three days have been so nice and the mornings have moved smoothly without any issues.
Let’s raise our cups of coffee to cheer bringing the small luxuries back!
As many of you have seen, Facebook has been going crazy with videos about the Invisible Children. If you haven’t watched the video about stopping Joseph Kony check out the link at the bottom of this blog. When Anson and I watched the video, we both felt the need to help the children in Uganda. Instead of just watching the video and saying “That’s a good video. Too bad for those kids” then moving on, we decided to actually do something and help.
Over dinner, I spoke with Vincent about the kids in Uganda and about how sad it is that they are forced to fight instead of do things like him and go to school. Vincent agreed that we should do something to help the kids. But of course Vincent related the kids in Uganda to an Indiana Jones Lego game. Apparently, one of the levels Indiana Jones has to rescue kids that were captured. After we talked about how he defeated the bad guy in the game, we talked about how people want to defeat Kony in real life.
Instead of quickly typing in our small monthly gift and moving on. I included Vincent by inviting him to type in our information. There are several teachable moments that come across us everyday. It’s important that we take the time to include our kids in them, too.
As I was folding laundry this afternoon I kept coming across pieces of tape and neon green post it notes on the clothes. I immediately knew who the culprit was because all of the papers said Vincent on them. Before I even had a chance to get bugged for pulling wet papers and tape off all the clothes, I realized something. These papers were from a scavenger hunt my aunt made for Vincent while I was away last week. One paper said “Go to the BBQ in the back.” Another paper said “Go to Granny’s swing outside her bedroom.” Looking at these scavenger hunt clues made me feel very grateful that even my extended family has chosen to love Vincent as if he were my own flesh and blood. They don’t see Vincent as “Lisa’s stepson” but instead as my son that they want to get to know. So instead of being upset about the papers in the laundry, I’m grateful that they were left in there so I could remember what an awesome family we have.
Sunday is our Phamily day. We try to focus on spending time together and do something that will be fun for everyone. Today, we decided to take our dessert outside for a picnic on the grass. Laying out a blanket didn’t take much effort, but it made our time together fun just because it was different. Vincent taught Anson and I how to play his new Lego game and of course Vincent won the first round. I was lucky enough to win the second round. Sorry, Anson better luck next time!
How is it possible for a 3rd grader to move in the middle of a school year to a new school and still achieve Student of the Month for his grade? Does he have to try hard to meet his deadlines or does the effort come natural? These were some of the thoughts I had as I was reading a letter from the school addressed to “The Parents of Vincent Pham”. We were notified in advance of a special awards ceremony and given the option to view the assembly on school grounds. Vincent was rewarded for Perfect Attendance, Student of the Month for academic achievement and Math Wizard. Apparently his math skills are at the 94th percentile of his grade. How can we not be proud parents?!
One of the things I remind him about is although this may come easy (for now) is to be grateful for the brain he was given. Maybe some other classmates need to try much harder to grasp concepts, but no matter what, Vincent needs to realize everyone is trying their hardest and to stay humble about his achievements but still be proud.
How do we compete with the lessons that kids learn from movies and games? Vincent came back from a cousins house talking about a video game that hurt people for fun. I knew that we needed to immediately teach Vincent the value of all people. That’s why I was excited to be apart of our church in action day.
Today, the pastor decided to not just have us sit inside the four walls during service, but to actually go out and help people. We drove over to the place where the biggest group of homeless people live in Long Beach, the riverbank. Once there, Vincent helped by handing out lunches, water bottles and blankets. Anson spoke to a few people that were extremely grateful for the warm blankets he gave them. Even though we were there to give and make a difference in the lives of others, I’m praying that this first act of giving will teach Vincent that we value all people and should help others.
I’d have to say that tonight was one of my favorite Friday nights. It was filled with surprises and moments that I’ll always remember. Anson had to work late tonight so I took Vincent and Chloe to McDonald’s for some fun. I was pleasantly surprised when a sweet homeless man came to my rescue and searched McDonalds for the nicest highchair they had. He even apologized when the one he found had a couple crumbs in it. At first his rough exterior made me hesitant, but I quickly saw that he was a gentleman and just wanted to help. The night continued to have wonderful moments when we got home and Vincent and I played a close game of Battelship, followed by obstacle courses in the living room and story time with Shel Silverstein. Vincent has never read The Light in the Attic or Where the Sidewalk Ends but tonight he had his first introduction. We took turns choosing poems and laughing until we lost track of time. With the business of the day, I really love sweet moments like this.
I’ve never really had a regular hair stylist, so when it’s time to get a haircut I always get nervous. I’d noticed a cute salon only a block away and decided to give them a try. I figured “how bad could it be? I only need a trim.” I’ve had enough cuts in the past to know that this girl wasn’t doing things right. I mean I’ve never had anyone in the past rub all my wet hair in my face so much that she offered me a towel to dry myself. I quickly regretted putting on lipgloss before I went in because now I had hair all over my lips. When everything was said and done I looked in the mirror and couldn’t believe the fluffy 80s style she gave me. That’s when I looked around expecting the Punk’d cameras to show up. Needless to say, I’m still in the search for another hair stylist. It can’t get worse than the girl from yesterday, can it?
Last night, Anson and I decided to order pizzas for dinner. We don’t have pizza very often so when we do it’s definitely a treat. To make dinner even more fun we decided to invite over some of my family that live close by. Pretty soon our small dinner turned into a party with 15 people. Even though it wasn’t anything fancy, everyone that came over seemed happy and really grateful for the invite. It really isn’t about having your house perfect or fixing something elaborate, it’s about spending time together and having fun. I look forward to our next spontaneous party.
I’ve had 32 birthdays and yesterday’s was one of my favorites. The day started out with my phone going crazy from all the Facebook notifications, followed by presents, a handmade card from Vincent and a walk to my new favorite bakery. In the evening, Anson made a delicious salmon dinner. I truly am a lucky girl to have such a great chef for a husband! While Anson made dinner, Vincent decided he wanted to be a ninja for the rest of the night. Vincent practiced using his plastic swords and pretended to be in ninja bootcamp. It was all very entertaining. After dinner, we played a game of Yahtzee (Anson beat me by one point) and had dessert. I couldn’t have asked for anything more than the perfect day with my phamily.
It’s that time of year again… when I turn another year older. This year, Anson planned a romantic Vegas getaway just for the two of us. We stayed at Treasure Island and had a beautiful room with a view of the Vegas strip. Now when you think of Vegas you may think of gambling and drinking. There is definitely a lot of that there, but Anson and I found a lot of other things to do, too. We ate Vietnamese food, went shopping, saw a Cirque du Solei show, went hiking, ate at a fine dining restaurant and of course had coffee while we people watched. We aren’t big on gambling, but did find a penny slot machine that was fun to play. We gave ourself a limit of $20 and on our second night I was the big winner and won $66 in pennies! Woohoo! I immediately pressed the “Cash Out” button and decided to quit while I was ahead. Sorry Vegas casino, you didn’t get much money from me.
I’ve included a couple pictures from our weekend getaway. I’ve heard that if you put God first, your spouse second and then kids third, you will have a happy family. Here is our attempt to keep each other second.
Anson and I are grateful when my mom calls us and says, “Go on a date. I’ll watch the kids!” We always take her up on the offer, but then don’t know where we should go or what we should do.
Last month, I saw an idea on Pinterest that was too good not to try. The idea was to plan a year of dates for you and your husband and put each date in a separate envelope. Each month on the first, the husband opens the envelope and sees what date they are going on that month. I decided to do this for Anson’s Valentine present. He opened up the first envelope today and was surprised with whale watching tickets. I can’t wait for him to open the rest of the fun dates I have planned for us! It’s going to be a great year!
I really should know by now that I can’t leave Target without adding five to six things to my basket that I wasn’t planning on buying. The only thing I needed was toothpaste. As I was walking to the toothpaste aisle, I passed the card section. If you know me, then you know I can’t pass by cards without picking up one. So I bought two Halloween cards. After that I found more must haves including a shirt for Chloe, a fly swatter, hooks to hang towels on, snacks for Anson and Vincent, a tape gun and whipped cream cheese. Next time, I really will stick to only the items I need . . .
Today, Anson and I took Chloe to Kaiser in West LA to meet a specialist about the shape of her head. We would have been very early to the appointment, but it seems that all of West LA decided to go to Kaiser at the same time as us. Once we finally found the room we were supposed to be in, Anson and I were both surprised to find that it was the Plastic Surgery Department. It seemed odd to me that we were in the same waiting room as rich women waiting to get their Botox injections.
When we were seen, the nurse and doctor both stressed to us that there is nothing mentally wrong with Chloe and that her brain is completely fine. That was the good news. The bad news was that they DO think that she needs to wear a helmet to reshape her head. If you look at the picture attached you will see that one section of her head is flat and that there is a bump on her forehead. The two red circles in the picture show where Chloe’s ears are and how one is closer to the front of the head than the other. By giving Chloe a helmet to wear, her head will be able to be reshaped without any pain to her. We don’t have the helmet yet, but will be meeting with an office to get her helmet ordered soon.
The reason that Chloe developed a flat side of her head is because she has a tight left neck muscle. It was more comfortable for her to turn her head to the left and keep it there instead of roatating it to the right also. I have given it my best effort to rotate her head while she is sleeping, move all of her toys the right side and tried to make it uncomfortable to move it back to the left but nothing has worked. The doctor suggested that we take her in for physical therapy to have her neck muscle loosened.
Sigh . . . this is a lot for little Chloe and for us, but I know that she will be fine.
Monday, I took Chloe in for her next set of immunization shots. She doesn’t like to be bothered, so she definitely didn’t like it when the doctors were looking in her ears, shining lights in her eyes and listening to her heart and lungs. Even though Chloe didn’t like the exam and especially didn’t like the the shots, everything went well. We found out that she is 97% taller than most babies her age and everything else is right on track. I did ask the doctor about the shape of Chloe’s head. It seems that it is flat on one side and more round on the other. Even with all of our efforts to get her to turn her head when she sleeps, it always seems that her head ends up turned to the left. The pediatrician is sending us to a specialist in West LA to see if Chloe will need a helmet to get her head round instead of flat. The specialist called today and we have an appointment for Tuesday. I know that she will be fine and that lots of babies have to wear a helmet, but I would prefer if she didn’t have to. I guess we will see how it goes.
Tonight, we took Vincent and his BFF bowling. I grew up going to the bowling alley as a kid but I never really realized what an odd sport it is. First, you put on strange colored shoes that have been worn by hundreds of other people. Second, you search racks of colored balls and try to find the heaviest one you can hold. Thirdly, you throw the heavy ball only using three fingers. To make things even more interesting, the bowling alley will turn off all the normal lights and turn on black lights to make everything glow. Even though bowling is strange, we had a great time! Sadly to say, Vincent’s 8 year old friend beat all of us in our second game. Guess we aren’t very good bowlers.
By the way, I did find a ball that was as heavy as Chloe.
As a child I never really believed in the tooth fairy. I thought of it more like a game that was fun to play. I’d loose a tooth and pretend to sleep while my dad snuck a dollar under my pillow. One time, I remember waking up but keeping my eyes closed as my dad snuck the dollar under my pillow. As soon as he left I quickly took the dollar and put it in my piggy bank. It was still really early in the morning so I crawled back in bed. Shortly after, my mom came in and reached under my pillow to make sure my dad had left something. When she felt that there wasn’t a dollar she left one, thinking that my dad had forgotten. After she left, I giggled to myself then put that dollar in my piggy bank, too.
My parents told us that they never wanted to lie to my siblings and I and make us believe something that wasn’t true. They were afraid that if they had told us to believe in something that we couldn’t see, like a tooth fairy or Santa Claus, that maybe we would think that they were lying about God’s existence, also. I’m not sure if I would have chosen to not believe in God, but there is something reassuring knowing that my parents didn’t trick me into believing something that wasn’t true.
Now my step-son Vincent does believe in the tooth fairy and Santa Claus. He thinks that it is really fun to write the tooth fairy a note and leave it with his tooth. This week we were at Disneyland when Vincent lost one of his teeth. After Vincent went to sleep, Anson folded $4 to make two ninja stars and put them under Vincent’s pillow. The only sad part was when Vincent woke up he couldn’t find the money because he had tossed so much in the night that they had fallen behind the bed. He was sad thinking that the tooth fairy didn’t leave him anything. Anson helped him find the money and then all was good.
I’ll be curious to see how Vincent reacts when he finds out that Anson is the tooth fairy and that we leave the presents under the tree instead of Santa Claus. I hope that he will see it more like a game instead of feeling tricked. I’m still not sure if I want Chloe believe in the tooth fairy or in Santa Claus, but I guess we still have time since she doesn’t have any teeth.
Cleaning is one of those jobs that never seems to be done. There is always something to wipe down, dust, wash or put away. A few years ago, my friend Heidi sent me a cleaning chart from Real Simple Magazine. This chart is awesome! I have referred to it several times over the past years. It lets you know what to clean and how often. Who knew that you were supposed to vacuum your mattress every 3 to 6 months!?! Another thing I have learned is that wiping down your green plants with a little bit of mayonnaise adds shine to the leaves and keeps them healthier. My mother-in law gave me that tip and it really works! And as you may have read in a previous blog that I can use all the help I can get with keeping plants alive and looking good.
I think that my love for fast cars started when I got behind the wheel of my first car, 1984 Firebird. That car would take off fast! As soon as I put it in gear it would shoot forward. Several speeding tickets later, I am still enjoying fast cars. My husband, Anson, introduced me to Subarus. We bought my Forester Sports XT over a year ago and I still find myself looking for excuses to go somewhere just so I can drive it.
Yesterday, I met up with a few other girls that own Subarus to go on our first “Girl Canyon Run.” Our husbands and boyfriends had to ride shotgun while we tore through the canyons. The first drive was pretty slow but things got more exciting when we sped through Little Tujunga Canyon. We had a blast and I look forward to more canyon runs in the future.
Our daughter Chloe will be three months old on Sunday. In not a bad way, it seems like Chloe has been with us a lot longer. She has added so much to our lives, that it now seems strange that she wasn’t with us a few months ago.
Chloe is changing and discovering new things every day. This week she has discovered that she has hands and fingers. She will stare at her hands and watch as she bends and straightens each finger. It’ll be fun watching her as she learns that she has feet and toes, too.
As I was thinking about Chloe’s development I was thinking about my own. I’m still learning what it means to be a good daughter, supportive wife, loving and patient stepmom/mom and engaging leader. I hope that I never come to the place where I stop learning and settle for where I’m at. Even when I’m 100 years old, I want to still challenge myself to be learning new things. For right now, I’m still figuring out this blog thing but so far so good.
